Alexander Alcantare is an animal lover. I daresay he loves animals too much. While trying to rescue some baby birds a few years back, he got tangled up with an electric fence and got so badly burned that his arm had to be amputated.

He could have used that other arm last week when his altruistic instincts again overpowered his common sense. He noticed that a seven-foot alligator in a Florida canal had an arrowhead stuck in its head. Wanting to help, he waded into the canal to catch said alligator and get it some medical attention. The alligator, being an alligator, attacked. It gave a nasty bite to Mr. Alcantare’s good arm.

“I couldn’t really handle him too good,” Mr Alcantare said. “The guy I asked to help me, he got scared and let go of the rope and since I couldn’t secure his mouth, he got me.”

You or I would have quit at that point and left the alligator to his own devices. That’s why neither you nor I are feechie of the week. Mr. Alcantare somehow got the alligator onto his bicycle and pedaled it home. I’d like for you to pause, dear reader, and picture this moment: a one-armed man bleeding profusely from that one arm, a thrashing seven-foot alligator, a bicycle. I’m having some trouble with the logistics myself, but I invite you to use your imagination.

I suspect the alligator would have preferred to have been left alone. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission euthanized it; after all, it had bitten a man. To Mr. Alcantare’s surprise, the game wardens didn’t look favorably on his heroic efforts.

“Somehow, I ended up with a citation,” he said. “And I got to get a permit for my raccoon.”

Here’s video from the local news..

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  • Pete
    3:47 PM, 22 September 2010

    I can’t believe they cited him. I suppose the scar wasn’t citation enough.

  • Tom Hoffman
    5:56 PM, 22 September 2010

    Leave it to civilizers and their citations. It seems that, in lieu of his second arm, Mr. Alcantare would have benefited from having a “Feechier” friend helping him.

    • Jonathan Rogers
      6:00 PM, 22 September 2010

      Tom, you’re exactly right about Mr. Alacantare’s choice of assistants. I’m reminded of an old feechie proverb: “Don’t send a civilizer to do a feechie’s job.”

  • Aaron Roughton
    6:32 PM, 22 September 2010

    First of all, this is the exact opposite of my dad’s feechie story. I’m not quite sure what the implications are, but it would seem that a one armed man catching an 8 foot gator makes the tale of a fully functional boy catching a baby 3-legged gator slightly less impressive, if not downright civilized. There may even be a bizzaro world in which a mama alligator is telling her babies about the night her daddy chomped down on a one-armed man because he was the only one that couldn’t get away, only to get shot and killed and made into boots shortly there after.
    Secondly, this guy has ruined it for all of us. Now I have to get a permit for MY raccoon.

    • Jonathan Rogers
      9:07 PM, 22 September 2010

      The symmetry boggles the mind, doesn’t it, Aaron? You’re starting to see how much care goes into this blog.

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