When I was ten years old I used to wrestle a dachshund. So I can relate to the following story.

Ten-year-old Michael Dasher was fishing in a Florida canal last week when an alligator bit his hook and broke his line. According to young Michael, the alligator then charged him. The two friends who were with him–sensible young men and no doubt civilizers–ran away. Michael, however, hit the alligator with a stick, jumped on the alligator’s back, taped its mouth shut, and carried it home over his shoulder. As he told one TV news reporter, “Its tail slapped me in the face, but I just threw it over my head.” The alligator was three inches shy of six feet long.

The police gave Michael a stern talking-to about the importance of not subduing alligators and carrying them home alive. He says he’ll run away next time he sees an alligator. It has been my experience, however, that wee-feechies just tell you what they think you want to hear.

This video, which shows a game warden confiscating the alligator, gives you an idea of the size of this thing. Hint: It’s bigger than a ten-year-old.


  • Melinda Speece
    12:03 AM, 30 May 2011

    Is it suspicious that he had a roll of tape with him?

    • Jonathan Rogers
      12:37 AM, 30 May 2011

      No, Melinda, it’s not at all “suspicious” that Michael Dasher had a roll of tape with him. If you’ve learned anything from reading this blog, you should have learned that in Florida one may be called upon to wrestle an alligator at any moment. Anyone who doesn’t carry a roll of tape on his or her person at all times would be foolhardy. When we went to Disneyworld a while back, I made my wife and each of my kids carry a bottle of water, sunscreen, a hat, and a roll of electrical tape. We managed to get out of the state without wrestling any alligators, but what kind of husband and father would I be if I hadn’t had them prepared?
      A bigger question is this: would a true feechie resort to taping an alligator’s mouth shut? It almost cost young Michael the title of Feechie of the Week, but I cut him some slack since he’s only ten.

      • livingoakheart
        2:44 PM, 2 June 2011

        Question: would using a handy vine give better points, or is it simply

        • livingoakheart
          2:46 PM, 2 June 2011

          best to leave the mouth open? Sorry, I’m using a different computer that doesn’t quite work the same. 

        • Jonathan Rogers
          7:44 PM, 3 June 2011

          Good question, livingoakheart. The committee does not penalize Feechie of the Week nominees for tying an alligator’s mouth shut with a vine. It should go without saying, however, that bonus points are given for leaving the alligator’s mouth free. It is more sporting and has more panache. 
          I’m glad you asked, livingoakheart, and good luck with your application. Will you be sending pictures and/or video of your alligator wrestling exploits directly to the committee, or should we just check Google News and the hospital report?

          • livingoakheart
            3:30 PM, 6 June 2011

            My civilizer side dominated in this case. Also, couldn’t find an alligator. had to settle for an anole lizard.

  • Jess
    6:20 PM, 30 May 2011

    Sigh. Sometimes I wish the world would stay out of things and let feechies be feechies. Life would be so much more fun. 😉 

  • Loren Warnemuende
    7:17 PM, 30 May 2011

    I hope when my kids are ten they have the feechiness (sp?) to react this way! I love how this was Michael’s automatic reaction. Why run away from the croc when you can toss it over your shoulder and take it home?

  • Sally Apokedak
    11:52 AM, 31 May 2011

    I saw that on TV and said, “There’s the feechie of the week.”
    His father, on the clip I saw, was the real feechie, grinning from ear to ear ad saying, “He’s not a afraid of anything. He’s always bringing snakes home.”I’m thinking, “You ought to make him afraid.”But then I’m not a feechie. 

  • Melinda Speece
    7:09 PM, 3 June 2011

    I’ve heard gator/croc hand puppets (pictured below) are all the rage with feechie toddlers.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get a Quote