EDITOR’S NOTE: The original version of this post stated that I would not be accepting submissions until Friday. I have changed my mind. I am accepting submissions as of right now. You may enter your clerihew(s) in the comments section of this post. I’ll accept entries through midnight Sunday.

Over the last few days we have seen an interesting development in the comments section of this blog. Dan Kulp has introduced the lesser-known poetry subgenre known as the ‘clerihew.’ Here’s the description of a clerihew from Wikipedia:

A clerihew is a whimsical, four-line biographical poem invented by Edmund Clerihew Bentley…
A clerihew has the following properties:

  • It is biographical and usually whimsical, showing the subject from an unusual point of view; it pokes fun at mostly famous people
  • It has four lines of irregular length (for comic effect); the third and fourth lines are usually longer than the first two
  • The rhyme structure is AABB; the subject matter and wording are often humorously contrived in order to achieve a rhyme
  • The first line consists solely (or almost solely) of the subject’s name.

An excellent example (also from Wikipedia):

Sir Christopher Wren
Went to dine with some men
He said, “If anyone calls,
Say I’m designing Saint Paul’s.”

Here are some more excellent examples.

This week’s Audience Participation Friday will be concerned with clerihews. I’m telling you now so that you can start working on yours. Since President’s Day was earlier this week, I considered making US Presidents the topic of our clerihews. But I didn’t want to have to adjudicate any political disputes (so stop making your list of things that rhyme with Obama).

The topic, therefore, shall be colorful characters who have appeared in this blog over the last few months. In case you need to brush up, here are some possibilities:

This being a free country, you may also write a clerihew about anybody else, whether he or she has appeared on this blog or not. I have a feeling this is going to be good. You may, of course, enter more than one clerihew.

I’ll send a signed copy of The Charlatan’s Boy to the person who contributes the best clerihew.

  • Aaron Roughton
    8:08 PM, 23 February 2011

    I think more important than this contest is the fact that you can just arbitrarily make up “poetry sub-genres” and have them named after yourself! This is the break I’ve been waiting for.

  • JJ
    8:09 PM, 23 February 2011

    I would normally shy away from something that requires creativity of this magnitude. But I think I’ve got a good one (it made me chuckle a little).

  • Amy
    9:05 PM, 23 February 2011

    I think there is a special name for the “sub-genre” into which my poetry falls, but I cannot use such language here. This sounds fun, JR!

  • Jess
    9:41 PM, 23 February 2011

    Ooh, this is going to get nasty. I would kill for a signed copy of The Charlatan’s Boy. Well, okay, I’m not THAT bad. But I am sad because I know that either Dan Kulp (he has practice) or Aaron Roughton (he has contacts) will win. Wahahaaa. 😉 I am looking forward to Friday. Even if I don’t win. 😉

  • Jess
    10:26 PM, 23 February 2011

    Aha. Good. Because I just sweated away all of the water I drank today (sorry, still stuck in rhyme mode) writing this:
    G.K. Chesterton
    Wrote poems about cheese for fun.
    Apparently, he, too,
    Obsessed upon the clerihew.

  • Noah Arsenault
    11:46 PM, 23 February 2011

    Here is one about E.E. Cummings.
    E. E. Cummings thrilled was for
    When forgot Olympus’s more
    Estlin with such a as name
    No could then sanity tame.

  • Dan Kulp
    12:35 AM, 24 February 2011

    Jonathan Rogershad a slant toward codgers.
    So it wasn’t much of a reach-y
    to write a book about feechie.

  • Dan Kulp
    12:38 AM, 24 February 2011

    The wild Texan Aaron RoughtonWrassled gators, for some tuff fun.
    But he entered the battle of his life,
    When he was landed by a wife.

  • Dan Kulp
    12:48 AM, 24 February 2011

    Oh, them brothers Peterson.Songs of faith, and stories of gun.
    Through highest highs, and deepest gloom,
    they lead all the readers of the Rabbit Room.

  • luaphacim
    12:51 AM, 24 February 2011

    Chito, who whispers to crocodiles,Made fancy pies for his reptiles.
    Those big brutes decided to increase their size
    By utterly demolishing Chito’s Frilly Pies.

  • Jess
    1:35 AM, 24 February 2011

    Strange, Mr. Kulp, I was going to write one about Mr. Rogers somehow relating to codgers, too. 😉 But I think yours turned out better than mine would have. 🙂

  • Amy
    2:24 PM, 24 February 2011

    Edmond Clarihew BentleyMade history rather gently
    Jonathan-Rogers.com catapulted him to fame
    When readers set his poetry style aflame.

    And because I missed last week’s APF:
    Thin Mint,
    You will do your stint.
    Waiting, frozen, for the day you become
    Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and then some.

  • Amy
    2:37 PM, 24 February 2011

    except for the spelling corrections in EdmUnd ClErihew’s namemy entry above would read the same.
    “Free-spell” is the poetry sub-genre I typically employ
    the freedom and relaxation is pure joy.

  • Dan Kulp
    2:53 PM, 24 February 2011

    Cousin Brett,surely could you win a bet.
    I’d wager he stands his ground
    with dignity, when juvenile jokes abound.

  • Dan Kulp
    3:42 PM, 24 February 2011

    I should probably get back to work, but each time something new pops into my head.
    Turtle man of Kentucky
    strolling in waters, most would call yucky.
    If turtle steak needs to be made
    Call him, & pay with some gatorade.

  • Aaron Roughton
    4:06 PM, 24 February 2011

    Dan, you should start a Clerihew writing service. People can send you some interesting facts about their loved ones and you can immortalize them with poetry. Brilliant stuff.
    Old Daniel Kulp
    Whose Clerihews beat mine to a pulp.
    I don’t have much else to say,
    Which proves my early point, eh?

  • Aaron Roughton
    4:53 PM, 24 February 2011

    That should say “earlier point.”

  • Jonathan Rogers
    4:56 PM, 24 February 2011

    Dan, I don’t know who keeps up with such things, but I suspect you have vaulted yourself into the 90th percentile of most prolific clerihewists.
    I don’t know who can answer this question–maybe Aaron Roughton could–but I thought Aaron’s last name was pronounced Rotten rather than Ruffton. In which case, it may be back to the drawing board for the Aaron clerihew, Dan.

  • Jess
    5:04 PM, 24 February 2011

    Really?? I always thought it was pronounced Ruffton. If it is Rotten, I feel sorry for him and do not necessarily think it applies to him. 😉

  • Jonathan Rogers
    5:14 PM, 24 February 2011

    Jess, you need not feel sorry for Aaron Rotten. Abe Lincoln (or somebody) said that by the age of forty every man has the face he deserves. I’m pretty sure the same goes for last names.

  • Buck Buck the Nordic Wonderduck
    5:34 PM, 24 February 2011

    TURTLEMAN! Someone wrote one about Turtle Man! YES!!!!

  • BuckBuck the Nordic Wonderduck
    5:42 PM, 24 February 2011

    Wendell Berrywould wax contrary
    over poetry written on Macintoshes.
    He prefers burned sticks on butternut squashes.

  • BuckBuck the Nordic Wonderduck
    5:53 PM, 24 February 2011

    Chuck Norrisrhymes with orange.
    He also rhymes with the third line
    of this poem. Watch this. Chuck Norris.

    • Jonathan Rogers
      6:27 PM, 24 February 2011

      Buck Buck, that Chuck Norris one blew my mind. And I’m loving the Wendell Berry one. I love the fact that Wendell B and the Turtle Man are from the same state.

  • Dan Kulp
    5:56 PM, 24 February 2011

    Still a Texan, that Aaron RoughtonSome pronunciations should be forgotten.
    Those words and names just segue;
    I’m lucky to know my own at the end of the day.

  • Jonathan Rogers
    6:00 PM, 24 February 2011

    There you go, Dan. Now you’re covered whichever way it turns out Aaron pronounces his last name. Unless it’s Rowton.

  • Jess
    6:20 PM, 24 February 2011

    Hmm. I will have to think on that one. But, in the meantime, here is another:
    Randall Goodgame
    Through kids songs made his rise to fame;
    And though he sings some other stuff,
    He hits the spot with Slugs and Bugs.

  • Sarah
    6:27 PM, 24 February 2011

    G.K. ChestertonOld things can fester some
    But ideas do freeze
    Zip-lock bags would work well for thee

  • Pete
    6:31 PM, 24 February 2011

    Turtle Manpluck me up by my tail if you can
    Loose your hoot in toothless bliss
    Grace me with your chainsaw kiss

  • Pete
    6:32 PM, 24 February 2011

    Darn, someone beat me to the Turtle Man.

    • Jonathan Rogers
      6:36 PM, 24 February 2011

      Here’s hoping yours is one of many about the Turtle Man, Pete. The man deserves many, many clerihews. I wonder if yours is the first clerihew ever written from the perspective of a snapping turtle?

  • BuckBuck the Nordic Wonderduck
    6:36 PM, 24 February 2011

    Hey, thanks. Kentucky girl here, too. ‘Started reading WB when I was a kid. His was actually the first live lit reading I ever attended, maybe twenty years ago. I couldn’t get over how big his hands were holding the papers.
    Turtle man. We’re probably related. I’m not doing the research. If you like him, you should probably watch this too.


  • BuckBuck the Nordic Wonderduck
    6:38 PM, 24 February 2011

    Also, I’m crying at Pete’s. It’s like Turtle Man spamku!!!

  • Jess
    6:39 PM, 24 February 2011

    Dobro TurtlebaneIs feechie-green and feechie-gray
    He has mastered the art of the bark of the bog owl–
    Once your blood returns to normal it’ll curdle again at his scowl

    I thought Dobro deserved a mention. 🙂

  • Marcus HOng
    6:40 PM, 24 February 2011

    Jolly, gruff ol’ Brian Jacques,Swashbuckling imaginator of Great Hall Cakes,
    Recast rodents and rascals as heroes and friends
    And brought wry, cheeky healing to a world on the mend.

  • Jess
    6:44 PM, 24 February 2011

    I feel certain Madame BuckBuck is going to win with her Chuck Norris one. Tha’s raw talent right thar.

  • Dan Kulp
    6:53 PM, 24 February 2011

    Now he’s a Rowton; that’s guys all over the phonetic chart.
    Row (as in a boat down the stream)
    Aaron Roughton
    tried eating a photon.
    Light that is upon me
    One should taste and see.

    Row (as in rhyms with cow)
    Aaron Roughton
    Mighty as a plow-son.
    A voice to attract any lady,
    But the dude was uglier than Grady.


  • Aaron Roughton
    7:03 PM, 24 February 2011

    Aaron RoughtonIt rhymes with poutin’
    But that’s not what he’s doing.
    He doesn’t waste time with stewing.

    I am still waiting to formally submit my Clerihew for the contest on Friday.

  • Crystal Davy
    8:12 PM, 24 February 2011

    Gilbert Keith ChestertonHis girth was akin to a Dora gun
    With a bunglesome grace he faced London’s frown
    With the inelegant innocence of one Father Brown

  • Ed K
    10:42 PM, 24 February 2011

    Here’s my tribute to Dan:
    Dan Kulp was an engineer
    and his efforts were always sincere.
    He excelled in most matters scientific
    but with clerihews he was downright prolific.

  • Jonathan Rogers
    12:01 AM, 25 February 2011

    BuckBuck the Nordic Wonderduck had some technical difficulties, so I’m posting this for her…

    This entry is dedicated to Dan the Engineer:

    01000111 01101111 01110100 01110100 01100110 01110010 01101001 01100101
    01100100 00100000 01001100 01100101 01101001 01100010 01101110 01101001
    01111010 00101100 00001101 00001010 01000111 01100101 01110010 01101101
    01100001 01101110 00100000 01101101 01100001 01110100 01101000 00100000
    01110111 01101001 01111010 00101100 00001101 00001010 01110100 01110111
    01100101 01100001 01101011 01100101 01100100 00100000 01100001 00100000
    01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000
    01100001 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 01101100 01111001 00101101
    01110011 01110001 01110101 01100001 01110100 00001101 00001010 01110100
    01101111 00100000 01101000 01100101 01101100 01110000 00100000 01010011
    01110100 01100101 01110110 01100101 00100000 01001010 01101111 01100010
    01110011 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101
    00100000 01101001 00101101 01101000 01101111 01110100 00101110

    • Jonathan Rogers
      3:24 PM, 25 February 2011

      Wait a minute…I just realized that BuckBuck’s entry in binary code is actually a clerihew. Hie thee to a binary code decoder and check it out. I thought my mind was blown before, but now it’s sho-nuff blown.
      On the other hand, Aaron Roughton used Chuck Norris’s birth name and included a round-house kick in his poem, so it’s hard to say which one is more awesome.

  • Michael Ramsay
    12:52 AM, 25 February 2011

    That last poem in binary is even more brilliant in English. I applaud Dan for inspiring such obfuscation.
    At the risk of drawing stones in this electronic media, I feel some honorable mention ought to go to the root and source of all (er, most?) Clerihews and their ilk 😉

    Marcel Bich
    was incredibly slick;
    with Edouard Buffard
    loosed countless poems untoward.

  • Barry Dunlap
    2:33 AM, 25 February 2011

    Milli Vanillidanced kinda silly.
    A shameful short-lived fling,
    because they couldn’t sing.

  • Randy
    5:42 AM, 25 February 2011

    Jesus ChristPulled off the heist
    And made Satan look silly
    Like a girl named Billy

  • Jon Slone
    6:00 AM, 25 February 2011

    Dr. SeussHad his noodle in a noose.
    To paint his next picture should he dabble in blue,
    Peradventure a pale-green or cheap clarry hue?

  • Paul B
    6:09 AM, 25 February 2011

    The Proprietor, Andy PeteFloppy hands, Firm feet
    Writes of songs and Deathly Hollows
    Sure enough he surely follows

    Rich Mullins, Ragamuffin
    Don’t need shoes, don’t need nothin
    But Awesome God forevermore
    Sing Your Praise to the Lord

  • Jon Slone
    6:22 AM, 25 February 2011

    One Mr. ChitoWith Danny Devito.
    On medicating crocs, are there any alarms?
    “Heck naw, you’ll be fine,” said the man with no arms!

  • Jon Morris
    1:58 PM, 25 February 2011

    The not-so-lady-like Gagabuilds a not-so-legend’ry saga
    She donned a dress made of room-temp meat,
    Which will go down as her most artistic feat.

  • Dan Schmidt
    2:13 PM, 25 February 2011

    James Hudson Taylorbecame quite the sailor
    but instead of fishin’
    poured his life into mission.

  • sally apokedak
    2:26 PM, 25 February 2011

    Wow! It’s a good thing Jonathan opened the doors early. These are addictive. Worse than thin mints.
    Jess, your attention to Dobro cements you in my mind as a gal of good taste.

    Here are my entries:

    Edmund Clerihew Bentley.
    He worked his wit and rhymed intently.
    A sub-genre he did leave behind,
    To mess with Aaron Roughton’s mind.

    Alexander Alcantare.
    Should have enjoyed wildlife from afar, eh?
    But he got too close and lost a limb.
    The animals didn’t seem to appreciate him.

    Rusty the plumber.
    Looked pretty sharp but couldn’t be dumber
    He lit a match inside a sewer
    And wound up several eyebrow hairs fewer.

  • Aaron Roughton
    2:27 PM, 25 February 2011

    Carlos Ray “Chuck” NorrisThankfully your karate was for us.
    But I still don’t understand exactly how
    You got paid to make movies — KAPOW!!

    Authors note: The KAPOW at the end is the sound of Chuck round house kicking me in the face.

  • BuckBuck the Nordic Wonderduck
    3:31 PM, 25 February 2011

    Also, “Kapow!!” is a Batman word. So bonus for that.

  • Jonathan Rogers
    3:43 PM, 25 February 2011

    You people are doing an incredibly good job with these clerihews. What a heap of fun. I can’t keep up. But keep them coming.

  • Joe
    3:51 PM, 25 February 2011

    Clive Staples LewisWrote some books that shew us
    The land of Narnia, a magical place,
    And the danger and joy of Aslan’s face.

    Clive Staples Lewis
    Professor Tolkien met this
    Friend at a pub to match wits,
    And shared his book on hobbits.

  • Hannah Rose
    4:01 PM, 25 February 2011

    Chesterton, Gilbert KeithShould not be taken on by the weak.
    A hefty proponent of distributism
    And a man much to paradoxes given.

  • Hannah Rose
    4:08 PM, 25 February 2011

    Joss Whedon:His fans can’t be hedon-
    ists in full. Firefly’s untimely demise
    still causes outrage and actions unwise.

  • Dan Kulp
    4:59 PM, 25 February 2011

    Gilbert Keith Chestertonchuckled at having two legs rather than one.
    Shaw said debating him was like a hailstorm assault;
    GK said Christianity isn’t wanting, just difficult.

  • elijah
    6:13 PM, 25 February 2011

    My brother AmosThere is none more Famous
    For the cookies he claims he sells
    But in truth for the lie that he tells

  • JJ
    7:55 PM, 25 February 2011

    Gilbert Keith ChestertonI had you on my Nissan
    A quote about tolerance, I think
    Had my liberal friend all in a stink.

  • Yvan Rey
    8:01 PM, 25 February 2011

    Aaron Roughtonweighs a rough ton,
    that is, on God’s scales,
    and to his health I drink some ales.

  • Jon Slone
    8:08 PM, 25 February 2011

    Cheese-paring PamShe’s back on the lam!
    Don’t take gifts from Pam, not even a suture.
    Cause Pam’s gonna want something for it in the future!

  • Patrick
    8:17 PM, 25 February 2011

    Mark Augustus LandisForging artwork is scandalous
    But since you gave them away as donations
    You won’t have to do time or even probation.

    • Jonathan Rogers
      8:29 PM, 25 February 2011

      Patrick, there you are! I was getting worried about you. Thanks for honoring our forger.

  • Loren
    8:58 PM, 25 February 2011

    Hmmm…thought I couldn’t pull this off, but after reading so many my brain is thinking in rhyme! So here’s a trio for better or worse:
    I’ve read that Dorothy L. Sayers
    Deftly dealt with Dante’s comedic layers
    But for stories enjoyable to me
    I’ll stick with her mysteries of Wimsey.

    Now the works of C. S. Lewis
    Formed early for me what truth is
    From wardrobe to Lion to deep Shadowland
    Perelandra and pain go hand and hand.

    J. R. R. Tolkein also of initial fame
    Brings to mind languages that numb the brain
    But who can resist fantasy with an appendix
    And depths of beauty with waking life to mix?

  • Jess
    9:45 PM, 25 February 2011

    Mr. Rogers, what have you gotten yourself into? I find it hard to believe that you are going to be able to choose… 🙂

  • Hannah
    10:47 PM, 25 February 2011

    Dan Kulp I know not(Nor the rest of this commenting lot);
    But laughter is key to a balanced day,
    So I thank you for keeping gloom at bay.

    Jonathan Rogers’ blog
    Put me in a poetic fog.
    But I must procrastinate here no longer:
    The foghorn of unframed art blows stronger.

  • Hannah
    10:57 PM, 25 February 2011

    @Loren (and just kidding)
    J.R.R. Tolkien’s name
    Is spelled “ie”–for shame!
    You should honor such a man of details
    (As should some printers of de tales)!

  • Jonathan Rogers
    10:58 PM, 25 February 2011

    Just a reminder: You have until midnight Sunday night to submit your clerihews, at which time the judges will convene. I should also mention that John Milton and Flannery O’Connor were also featured on this blog a few weeks ago. They might be good clerihew candidates…

  • T.J.S.
    11:24 PM, 25 February 2011

    Me…Not good at poetry
    But how else to sate?
    The pressure to participate.

    • Jonathan Rogers
      11:31 PM, 25 February 2011

      Thanks for participating, TJS. Glad you felt sufficiently pressured. You any relation to the JS who sometimes shows up here?

  • Hannah
    11:39 PM, 25 February 2011

    Bentley, Edmund Clerihew,Do I dare ask of you…
    Of rhyming couplet ditties or unrhymed free verse,
    Which do you personally think worse?

  • Loren
    12:09 AM, 26 February 2011

    LOL, Hannah–and sigh!I’m always misspelling Tolkien “e-i”
    It’s mother-brain on which I’ll lay the blame
    And continue to enjoy your rhymes that aren’t so lame 🙂

  • Jess
    12:18 AM, 26 February 2011

    Hannah (my sister)I just want to publicly wish her
    A very happy, rabbity birthday
    Fourteen years of age this Sunday

  • BuckBuck the Nordic Wonderduck
    12:56 AM, 26 February 2011

    The scribbling abbess of Andalusiapumped wise blood through goth allusion,
    sowed wild Motes in clay-red fields of Georgianacular prose,
    flanned concrete flames, reversed the fowl, converged, and then arose.

  • EmmaJ
    2:01 AM, 26 February 2011

    This being my first foray into the world of the Clerihew, I am not 100% sure that this fits the bill, but nevertheless, I submit this, my first submission, to the general consideration. I may or may not have a few others up the ol’ sleeve.
    Clive Staples Lewis
    Inclined to be shrewish
    On this, and only this tack:
    A demand to be known as Jack.

  • Alassiel
    2:33 AM, 26 February 2011

    My son, the scout, Billy Womack?His mother’s pride will never lack.
    Want to hear of his latest achievement?
    A merit badge on crime and punishment.

    (How in the world are you ever going to pick just one of these?)

  • Elijah
    2:40 AM, 26 February 2011

    The great Brian JacquesMade so few mistakes
    That for us to say he was unheard
    Would be, simply put, totally absurd.

  • EmmaJ
    4:37 AM, 26 February 2011

    John Ronald Reuel TolkienWas enamored with wolkien;
    He never would stop it,
    For there’s no better hobbit.

  • Barry Dunlap
    4:45 AM, 26 February 2011

    The late Brian Jaquestold of mice, valiant over snakes.
    With riddles and songs loved by all,
    within and without the great RedWall.

  • Jon Slone
    5:03 AM, 26 February 2011

    The Bard, Rick Roll,A meticulous soul.
    He was born at the bottom of Loch Purple-Pail.
    In the sable deep bowels where the big words dwell.

  • Jon Slone
    5:19 AM, 26 February 2011

    My main-man JESUSHe does what He pleases.
    I’m a wee crumb of nothing, a small bit of fuzz.
    Yet before Earth was made this man knew who I was!

    (While Earth was still wet on the canvas, He knew me and loved me! Wow! 1 Corinthians 15:10 “But by the grace of God, I am what I am!”)

  • Yvan Rey
    7:31 AM, 26 February 2011

    Re: my clerihew about Aaron Roughton (comment #59).
    Dear Aaron Roughton,
    No disrespect meant, for one
    Maybe I should have abstained of this clerihew, er…
    And left it where it was laying, in the sewer.

    In the first attempt, I meant to say that (for me), you (A.R.) wouldn’t be found wanting (or light, insufficient or whatever. Not like that king the prophet Daniel spoke to, whoever it was).

    And I only drank beer a few times, in my life. So the “ales” were just in for the rhyme.

    Sorry if I’ve been misunderstood.

  • Hannah Rose
    3:19 PM, 26 February 2011

    Dear Madeleine L’Engle,I never noticed if your participles did dangle.
    Instead I was drawn into pain, happiness, and a different clime
    In your life and in the wrinkles of time.

  • Patrick
    3:40 PM, 26 February 2011

    Daniel Kulpwrites poems non-stolp
    with no better way to spend his day
    than Clerihews rhyming the hours away

    Jonathan Rogers
    Makes us mental joggers
    Every Friday with out fail
    Invites us to share another tale
    (we just never know; what subject, structure, or form; will be this weeks norm)
    [Sorry, couldn’t resist throwing in a Haiku 😉 ]

  • Patrick
    3:49 PM, 26 February 2011

    Mark the Presbyterian BaptizerSpider-man hologram hypnotizer
    Dunking dogs into Heaven is just as fun
    As swinging from webs catching crooks on the run

  • EmmaJ
    4:03 PM, 26 February 2011

    This collection of Clerihewsis composed in such merry hues.
    With naught of the melancholy note,
    in glee we find ourselves afloat.

  • sally apokedak
    4:18 PM, 26 February 2011

    The good Doctor Jonathan Rogersopened up his blog to lodgers.
    Rich or poor, each told his tale
    every Friday without fail.

  • Joe
    12:08 AM, 27 February 2011

    Flannery O’ConnorTo you we owe such honor,
    For the unsettling way in which you opined
    That a good man is hard to find.

  • BuckBuck the Nordic Wonderduck
    1:01 AM, 27 February 2011

    Yay! That makes two Flanneries now, Jonathan. Have we sufficiently cherhewn everyone on your wish list before the deadline?

  • BuckBuck the Nordic Wonderduck
    1:13 AM, 27 February 2011

    clerihewn. :/

  • mike
    2:06 AM, 27 February 2011

    GK Chestertonwrote tales with the best of them
    He, Tolkien, and Lewis gained fame
    without being able to spell their first name.

  • Patrick
    3:46 AM, 27 February 2011

    PSA- The Stats: as of 9:40pm Central; 10:40 EasternAfter 92 posts we have 76 Clerihews about 41 different people.
    Of the 14 names requested to be written about by Jonathan we have covered all but 4 of them: Rufus Hussey, Jake, Carp Man, and Martin Amis.
    Aaron Roughton and G.K. Chesterton are tied with 7 Clerihews about them apiece.

  • Canaan Bound
    3:47 AM, 27 February 2011

    Those Captains CorageousAre flippin’ outrageous!
    Together, they create
    A sound that’s truly first-rate.

  • Canaan Bound
    3:49 AM, 27 February 2011

    That terribly homely kid, GradyHis line of work ain’t nothin’ but shady
    He and his cohort can’t fool me
    I ain’t so dumb as to be b’lievin in feechies

  • Canaan Bound
    3:57 AM, 27 February 2011

    Blasted typos.

  • Patrick
    4:02 AM, 27 February 2011

    Rufus Husseymakes slings shots no-fussy
    shoots coins from the sky
    without aiming with his eye

  • Patrick
    4:21 AM, 27 February 2011

    Jake the Original FeechieBoars kickin’ like tillers with ginormous teethie
    He ropes them up like he’s Chuck Norris
    And serenades a pretty gal with enamored chorus

  • BuckBuck the Nordic Wonderduck
    4:25 AM, 27 February 2011

    Patrick, you’re sort of awesome. Thanks for the tally.

  • Patrick
    4:41 AM, 27 February 2011

    No problem. If no one beats me to it this should be post #100!!! and I just wanted to add that Mr. Martin Amis seems to be the original inspiration of the Clerihews as there were two of them written about him as comments to the post about him. Do those count for the contest?

  • Canaan Bound
    4:50 AM, 27 February 2011

    Most-honorable Rufus HusseyHis methods of slinging and shooting aren’t fussy
    He’s simple, keen-sighted, that Bean Shooter Man
    Right on the money, and right on the can

  • Canaan Bound
    4:51 AM, 27 February 2011

    Oh, rats. Patrick beat me to him.

  • Jess
    5:34 PM, 27 February 2011

    I think Mr. Rogers has skipped out on us. Leave the audience wanting more sort of thing. He didn’t want to admit that he couldn’t choose.

    • Jonathan Rogers
      6:21 PM, 27 February 2011

      No, Jess, I’m around. When I said the end of the contest was midnight Sunday, I meant at the end of Sunday, not the end of Saturday (though I see how that might have been confusing). I’ll declare a winner Monday morning.

  • Amanda Jane
    5:42 PM, 27 February 2011

    I just discovered the contest this morning. As you can tell, I’m still working on the whimsical, but I couldn’t resist trying a few.
    Chesterton, whose first name was Gilbert,
    was a writer as prolific as the filbert.
    His thinking and logic I’m quite fond of quoting,
    except, of course, for that bit about women not voting.

    Scottish George MacDonald,
    both poet and minister called,
    knew that Good always wins when Evil it meets
    so filled his tales with things like tender, toeless goblin feets.

  • Alassiel
    6:22 PM, 27 February 2011

    Give Macgyver a shoestring-He’ll turn it into a pair of wings.
    Can you imagine what else he could do
    If you gave him the entire shoe?

  • Dan Kulp
    7:18 PM, 27 February 2011

    Probably my last one, but I like my GKC one best. This has been quite fun to read thru.
    Thomas MacKenzie
    Filmed a neighbor in carp holding frenzy.
    Swamps intruded, worse than a neighboring mobster.
    For all the troubles it should have brought lobster.

  • Dan Kulp
    7:20 PM, 27 February 2011

    I should note – “I like my GKC one best.” meaning of mine. Jonathan has a tough judging job. He may end up sending out 41 books (trusting Pat’s count).

  • Jess
    7:32 PM, 27 February 2011

    OH. Okay. 🙂 Thanks for clearing that up. The “midnight Sunday”s always get me.

  • Patrick
    9:52 PM, 27 February 2011

    The 41 in my count is the number of different subjects the poems were written about by the time of my post last night. The number of different authors is only 33- assuming that people consistently used the same name each time they made a post. That is still a significant number of signed books to be giving away. I’m fairly certain 32 of these great poets will be disappointed tomorrow morning.

  • Canaan Bound
    10:08 PM, 27 February 2011

    One last one…
    The Andys three
    Are better than Glee.
    They are story-telling pros
    Especially when singing ballads about missing toes.

  • Collin Anne
    3:02 AM, 28 February 2011

    Edgar A. Poe -Thy last name is so
    Propitious, as such as they grow ’em –
    I wonder which’s first – the Poe or the poem?

  • Patrick
    4:34 AM, 28 February 2011

    30 minutes till midnight Eastern time – 112 posts – 86 poems – 49 subjects – 33 poets – all requested subjects covered – and 1winner to be announced! (trying to increase the suspense- 🙂 )

  • Dan R.
    4:55 AM, 28 February 2011

    Does anybody remember that great Feechie Film Fest that went on here a while back? Well anyway, here’s to all the hard work that went into those films (and also to turning things in “on time”).
    If you read books by Jonathan Rogers
    You’ll find yourself less easily-bothered
    When strange things happen all out of the blue.
    Just remember that Feechies are all around you.

  • Dan R.
    1:53 PM, 28 February 2011

    Argh, and indeed, I was trapped in the momentum of Clerihewing that has been mentioned before! I thought of this one after I had shut off my computer last night, and after the deadline, but here’s one for the Wonderduck (in somewhat reverse form).
    The bird kingdom shook, and the wind it did howl
    As hatched the great egg of the great Norse waterfowl.
    But one lonely chicken stood there, thunderstruck.
    As the creature awoke, it heard its name called: “buck buck.”

    • Jonathan Rogers
      11:17 PM, 1 March 2011

      Dan R, that’s a most excellent reverse clerihew about BuckBuck. If I were a better contest host, I would have written one about her. Thanks for picking up my slack.

  • Dan R.
    6:33 PM, 28 February 2011

    And because I neglected to check the main page, I missed the fact that BuckBuck actually won, and that this should have been a congratulatory offering instead. So congrats, BuckBuck, on a job well-done! Brilliant work!

  • BuckBuck the Nordic Wonderduck
    6:53 PM, 28 February 2011

    Maybe I just drank too much Cheerwine at lunch, but your last entry gave me chills. I haven’t felt such thunderwonder since Sheera was born last Wednesday on Netflix, and I ran from a sink full of hummus dishes into the living room (toddler son’s mouth agape) and shouted to the heavens, “By the power of Greyskull!” Epic entry, my friend. I stand in awe.


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